In honor of Portland Pizza Week, I've made a list of everything I know about pizza in this city. I'm not going to claim to be an expert. You'll see that there's still plenty of pizza I haven't yet eaten. But this is a living document. And eating pizza is like learning in that you shouldn't stop until you die.
Anyways, here's pretty much everything I know and also a lot of what I don't know.
Portland Pizza Week Places:
The 1905: Very nice patio, okay pizza. I liked the patio more than the pizza.
Amalfi's Italian Restaurant: I don't know what to make of this place.
Atlas Pizza: Very good slices, and I bought a t-shirt here so that must mean something.
Baby Doll Pizza: I remember liking this pizza, but I should go back again to make sure.
(January 2018 Update: I went back. Now I'm sure.)
Bella Pizza: Casual, good times pizza on Alberta St. And that's all I ever really want.
(Pizza Week 2017 Note: I really enjoyed the She Persisted slice. Highly recommend.)
Blackbird Pizza: Okay, but not my favorite. I think the crust was a little doughy for my taste.
DeNicolas Italian Restaurant: Never been but it's a thick crust, so no thank you.
East Glisan Pizza Lounge: Never been but I'm hoping to change this soon. Very soon. A pizza lounge sounds nice, doesn't it?
Fillmore: This is a coffee shop but they also make pizza. Just went there for the first time this week. Was not disappointed.
(Pizza Week 2017 Note: The Walter White was good. Recommend.)
Good Neighbor Pizzeria: Pretty good, and it's in my neighborhood. Hey! Just like the name! I've been there twice now, both times during Pizza Week, and I'm starting to think I should go there more than once a year. Also, this last time I went with my friend Matt, and we ordered garlic knots because a lady in line told us to and she seemed trustworthy. There was a little mix-up so we didn't end up getting the knots, but they looked really good. (We could have had them after we finished our pizza, but we decided instead to go get more pizza.) So what I'm saying is, I have some unfinished business here, so I'll be back.
(Pizza Week 2017 Note: The Farmer's Delight was very tasty. Recommend.)
(May 2017 Update: Went back for the garlic knots and they were only okay but at least I know now.)
Hammy's Pizza: Never been, but it was recommended to me by a person I don't necessarily trust on food matters. This may have cast a shadow on what might otherwise be a fine pizza. I will give it a try though, because I'm tough but fair.
(August 2017 Update: I ate this pizza while drunk and it was only fine, which means I probably don't want to eat it when I'm sober. But it has its place. After 1 am.)
Hogan's Goat Pizza: Never been but the pictures look good and I like the name a lot, so I have high hopes.
HOTLIPS Pizza: Very MEH, but they actually have pretty good salads. So if you think you want pizza but then at the last minute you realize that you actually wanted a stupid salad, you're in luck here.
Mississippi Pizza Pub: I feel like this is more of a place where kids hang out than a place you go for pizza, but it sure is nice when your little hangout has pizza, isn't it, kids?
Old Town Pizza and Brewing: Kind of feels like you're dining in a theme park, but the pizza is totally fine. it seems like a place my parents would like. Do with that what you will.
Pazzo Ristorante: This is described as an "elegant eatery" so I'm going to keep my distance.
Pizanos Pizza: This is near a Target so it's probably bad, but it's a fine Target.
Pizza A Go-Go: I enjoy this place. Good slices, casual shop, nice patio. Sometimes I pick it up and take it to a nearby bar (Maui's) that doesn't have real food, which somehow makes it even better.
(Pizza Week 2017 Note: The Disco Inferno was great. Recommend.)
(4/21/17 Update: I got this slice a second time. Still great.)
(July 2107 Update: CLOSED. WHY? Because life is pain, that's why. But don't worry. It builds character.)
Pizza Jerk: I've been meaning to try this one for a while. They just opened last year and then had a big fire and had to close but now they're back and they seem scrappy for that reason. Plus, I've heard good things. (Pizza Week 2017 Note: I'm planning on going there tonight, actually. WILL REPORT BACK.)
(4/21/17 Update: My instincts were right. The Thai Pie was great. I will return, Pizza Jerk!)
Pizzicato: I feel like this is a place that you go into with low expectations, but it's actually not bad. I guess that's not a glowing review, but give it a try!
Ranch: Never been, but it's on Division St. in SE which is a street I usually like to avoid.
Roman Candle Baking Co.: Also on Division. It's nice, fancy "flatbread" pizza, if you're into that.
Rovente Pizzeria: I'm pretty confident that this pizza is not going to knock your socks off, but you know, sometimes that's okay.
Scottie's Pizza Parlor: Also on Division. Man, there sure is a lot of pizza on Division these days. Fine! I'll go there. God.
Slice Pizza Company: Never heard of it until this week, but it definitely looks like pizza.
Straight From New York: I honestly don't know if I've eaten here or if I just met someone who worked here. It's a place people like, I think. I'll look into it when I get a chance.
UFO Pizza: Never been but I don't like it. Sometimes I'm tough but unfair, okay?
Via Chicago: Alright Chicago, I'm only going to say this one more time. If you're going to serve me a lasagna, call it a lasagna.
Other Pizzas I Know About:
Apizza Scholl's: This is one of those "Best in Portland" type of places. People love it. It's definitely good pizza, but I don't like the vibe for some reason.
Associated: This place is pretty cool. It's the sort of place you might go for a date, if you're dating someone who likes pizza, which you obviously should be. They also have a lot of vegan options which I'm sure are very good if you've been a vegan for so long that you've forgotten what pizza tastes like.
Dove Vivi: To hell with this place and their cornmeal crust. Other people like it, but not me. No sir. You might like it though. (If you like stupid crust.)
Handsome Pizza: This is a cute little bakery/pizza place on Killingsworth. It's wood-fired and it's fine. I've only had it once, though. I think I liked the name more than the pizza, but I want to give it another try.
Ken's Artisan Pizza: As the name indicates, this is a fancier place. You know, like a restaurant? Not a slice place, but I recommend it for a real DINNER, if you're into that sort of thing. And I take back what I said about Associated. This is where you should take your pizza-loving date. Probably still my favorite pizza restaurant in Portland.
(December 2017 Update: It is still my favorite pizza restaurant in Portland.)
Lonesome's Pizza: I love this place. It's on the westside and it has some very INTERESTING options. That's not always a good thing, but here it is. They've done some great things with potatoes. It's very quirky, very Portland, and they're open until 3 am. They also give you the option of putting edible glitter on your pizza. That's not a reason to eat there, but I think it's worth noting.
(September 2017 Update: Apparently Lonesome's is no more and that makes me sad, but that's life.)
Lovely's Fifty Fifty: Very good pizza. I repeat, very good. Also good ice cream. You should go there right now. I'm now asking myself why I don't eat here more often.
Nostrana: I think the best thing about Nostrana is the scissors they give you to cut your pizza. That is not to say that the food isn't good, it's just that the scissors are really cool.
Red Sauce: I often confuse Red Sauce with Pizza Jerk because they're both on NE 42nd which is becoming some sort of pizza district. And they're both good, so even if you mix them up, you can't really go wrong.
Sizzle Pie: I'm a big fan of this place. It's probably the pizza I eat the most often. They have multiple locations. It's a casual joint that's open late. Good to visit after drinking. Or before drinking. You don't have to drink to enjoy it though. I like the Ol' Dirty which has salami, ricotta, and pepperoncini. Also the Gold Ring which has truffle oil and goat cheese. I've been meaning to do a side-by-side slice tasting with Atlas to decide which place I like more. I'll let you know.
Sunshine Tavern: This is not a pizza place, but they have a very good pepperoni pizza on the menu. It's on Division, and you know how I feel about that, but they do have good food. So if you have to be on Division, I recommend it.
(November 2017 Update: CLOSED. Is this what happens when I avoid Division for too long? I'm sorry!)
Okay that's all.